Wolf Rd. Bridge over Hickory Creek / Scene of 1991 Beaver Tragedy

The unassuming bridge over this brook is the sight of untold carnage. Such a waste of human life I had not witnessed since my Leftenantship at the Battle of Passchendaele. After sending platoon upon platoon over the top to face the Huns, my stomach still wrenches at the very thought of that summer day in 1991. In the year of our Lorde 1991, the bumbling louts who superintended this burg, in order to preserve the natural balance of this stream, refused to order the removal of the local species of water lily. (Which, dear reader, were choking the tides of Hickory Creek) Against better judgement and advice from yours truly, an explosion in the population of migrating Castor canadensis (the "American Beaver", for the layman) was left unchecked.
Scores of teaming beavers had overrun this hamlet in no time. The local constabularies were wholly unprepared for this disaster, having nought for pistol ammunition. (In fact, a referendum was later passed to secure additional rounds for more than two hours of unwithering gunfire)
Before long, the dastardly Castor canadensis had erected numerous dams throughout the village's waterways, causing numerous floods. However, the day of 14 July 1991 was truly a day of reckoning. The small floods around the banks of this normally serene creek soon gained volume, and put untold amounts of stress upon the shoddy construction of the American Castor's dikes. Unlike the world-renowned and revered British Castor, whose deligent assembly of ramparts (whilst under fire) held back the tides of Baron von Blitzschlag's advancing stormtroopers in A.D. 1916.
Upon this summer's morn the skies opened upon Mokena and poured record setting amounts of precipitation, causing the already strained dams to burst forth with the force of a thousand howitzers.
It was if the Four Horsemen of Doomsday were riding the waves of the Armageddon. This deluge swept away dozens of automobiles whose drivers and passengers were instantanously greeted by the Grim Reaper. On ye day, 17 lives and 1 loyal rescue ferrett were lost.
The number of casualties would've been drastically reduced, if not for the ineptness of local rescue forces who were ill-equipped. The incompetent would-be life savers couldn't traverse the torrent, for it was too great a force of nature.
This abominable misfortune could have been avoided, if the local Bobbys hadn't detained me for plucking the water lilies from the waters of Hickory Creek. (Which I happen to enjoy ground in my mid-afternoon Earl Grey.)
For detailed information and photographs, consult the local book depository. Be sure to request access to the archives on the "1991 Beaver Disaster".

-Sir Melvin van Horne MBE-